Dolphins Know Each Other By Name; Also Play Poker On Saturday Night

Dolphins, which we already know are unusually bright, especially for mammals without arms or legs, are apparently even smarter than we suspected. In a recent study of dolphin behavior, it was determined that the clever mammals can make a series of squeals and squawks that another dolphin will recognize as his or her name.

What has not been widely reported is, the dolphins, once their ability to talk was discovered, were willing to engage in a far more detailed description of their plans. It seems they have determined, in their affable way, that the oceans, as presently polluted, are incapable of providing a hospitable home for the long-term. So they’ve concluded they must eventually move out onto the land.

Their first efforts to excape the thrall of the ocean, which were mistaken by us as their sonar gone awry, left a number of them washed up on beaches where they, unfortunately, expired. As a result of these unfortunate experiences, they’ve learned that the adaptation will take some time.

In an effort to give evolution a boost, they’ve begun to imitate some of the more simple-minded activities we landlocked humans indulge in, among them, Saturday night poker.

So now, on any given Saturday evening, the leaping over-achievers can be seen gathered round a reef, gaming away.

As they continue to prod their genes, they expect to imitate increasingly complex human activities and eventually move onto the land as our equals, if not something even grander.

As one unusually forthcoming dolphin confided to a researcher, “Hey, if the finny ancestors of human beings could learn to live on land, what’s to stop a bunch of intelligent mammals like us from figuring it out?”

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